she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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