So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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