look no pants
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize