Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Will you blow on my dice?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
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