I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
that is very illegal...i love you.
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