planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize