Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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