a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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