i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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