"it" just moved
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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