oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize