Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
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have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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