She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize