What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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