Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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