capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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