Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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