dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Houston, we have a blender
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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