Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
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The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
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Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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