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ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
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