My liver just broke up with me...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize