I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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