if only i could text you this smell
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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