awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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