I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize