I seem to have left my pride at pride
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
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I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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