Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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