i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize