In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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