He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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