By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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