Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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