Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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