38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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