she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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