I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
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Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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