literally had 100 drinks last night.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
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I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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