Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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