did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Panties = found
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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