508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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