Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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