I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
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Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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