New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Randomize