No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize