i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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