well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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