You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize