Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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