Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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