We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize